(It applies here too)
I’ve been NC for going on two months, and in this time I’ve been sitting and pondering.
My nex has had a great time hammering me on all fronts. From flying monkeys to facebook, you guessed it…she’s there. Always on the offense, never on the defense. I’m such a horrible person in all intents and purposes.
Now, here is where Sun Tzu came to be my salvation…
Many close friends told me to not engage her at all. Do not respond when I was slandered, go silent…vanish and let them run. In that time I begun to read about military psychology, the nature of cluster B personality disorder, and applying it to the two years I spent with my greatest enemy.
“There are roads which must not be followed, armies which must not be attacked, towns which must not be besieged, positions which must not be contested, commands of the sovereign which must not be obeyed.”
I did not follow the road of revenge, it would play into her hand, and confirm I was the crazy ex. I did not engage her armies, I left them to attack a phantom as I was off social media. I did not besiege her social media, making myself weaker. I did not go to the bars we shared, they weren’t worth contesting. I did not follow the commands of those who told me to attack.
In the end, her armies attacked a phantom, they thought me weak and grew arrogant. When in reality I was growing stronger each day. The spell had been broken and I had their playbook.
“If you know your enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of 1000 battles.”
Now, time has passed and I’m seeing the results of her campaign.
She’s broke, her friends have backed off, and I surfaced in the club and was welcomed back. Thinner, better put together, her name didn’t fall from my mouth once. I then learned what she had befall her.
She wasn’t very welcome, she wasn’t very well liked. She ran her mouth with old information like a broken record. Narcs need new information to keep the cycle going, when I became a ghost…the well was dry and people got sick of her shit. People stopped paying her way, her rides dried up, she became very limited in her actions.
I began seeing a new woman, we’re not intimate, but we spend time together and we post about our wholesome adventures on instagram.
Guess who started following my companion’s new instagram….
Funny how that works out, my nex hated this woman with a fiery passion…and now she wants to follow her.
I could respond and chase her off…but now we get into Sun Tzu’s best quote.
“Never interfere when your enemy is destroying themselves.”
You see, my nex is starting to creep back into my life whatever way she can. It means she didn’t get what she wanted. They do this when they realize their supply they got post you…knows their shit. I’ve been told she has a black mark on her as a user and abuser…abrasive and not very nice. The smear campaign backfired because I didn’t engage.
“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
Let them destroy themselves and rebuild yourself. It’s working wonders for me right now. I know she and I will meet on the field of battle soon…and she will be stupified by how horribly she failed to destroy me. I didn’t even lift a finger to bring about her own failures.
Anyway…buy a copy on Amazon. Apply Sun Tzu’s teachings to your current struggle. Sun Tzu set me free and he’s been dead for a few thousand years.
When I secure the final victory, I’ll light up the Cuban I’ve been saving.
Edit: the final victory is not thinking of this woman again, and reaching a state where her actions no longer concern or affect me. Its a a long bloody war, you can see the war weary faces in the posts from everyone here. Some wars are short and sharp, some wars are of attrition.